Sugar, Sugar Everywhere!

I've known for a long time that I had an addiction to sugar. I thought it was pretty harmless as long as I was exercising and watching my calories. But see... that's the thing. I haven't been exercising (until yesterday), and like any addiction, a substantial dose of sugar makes you want more and more and more! It sends all kinds of warm fuzzy signals to your brain, which make you feel good for a while, until you crash.

There's a lot of newly published research out there about what sugar does to your body and the vicious cycle it causes. The main concern for me is the spike in insulin, especially since I'm labeled by the doctors as "insulin resistant". When insulin goes up, it triggers the urge for more sugar, which causes more insulin, which triggers sugar cravings, which causes more insulin... you get the point.

Insulin also causes fat storage in the belly area. And if you're on a vicious insulin, sugar, insulin, sugar cycle, guess what's getting bigger? Yep! I have been overweight my whole adult life, but never really had a BELLY until the last 2 years. Where the heck did that come from? I thought maybe it just had nowhere else to go, and maybe that's true. But, the things I'm reading about sugar are quite scary because I know that if I don't get it under control, I am fighting a losing battle.

So, instead of counting calories, I'm trying to stick to the recommended max 5 grams of sugar per meal (which doesn't spike insulin). It sounded easy enough to do until I started looking at nutrition information. Do you realize how much sugar is in everything you eat? Not talking about carbs here... just sugar grams. It's going to take a lot of effort and a major mind shift to ween myself off of sugar, but I think if I can do that and keep up the exercise, the results will follow. The hope is that eventually I don't daydream about Sprinkles cupcakes all day long. mmmmmm.... bad!bad!bad!

3 Weeks In

More than three weeks into 2010 and I have lost a grand total of 2 pounds. OK, so time to get serious. I have less than 7 weeks until I go to Puerta Vallarta and I want to be able to fasten my seatbelt on the plane without an extender. I also want to be comfortable walking around sight seeing and taking pictures. I know it's going to take a lot longer than 7 weeks to be swimsuit ready so I'll just have to deal and enjoy the surf and sun anyway and hope that I don't get mistaken for a beached sea turtle or something.

I went for a long walk today around my beautiful neighborhood. It took a half hour and I measured it later at exactly 1.5 miles. Then somebody called me and asked me to go take a walk at a local nature preserve... so I went. I was there for an hour and a half so I'm sure I walked/hiked about 1.5 miles. Now my knees and ankles ache but I've been icing them all evening. I will sleep well tonight because I took a hard nap earlier this evening until my phone rang and woke me and I almost didn't know where I was.

I've been pulling a lot of key pages out of one of my favorite magazines, FIRST Magazine for Women. There are always great tips on health and recipes among other things. Taping all these things up on my wall so they are right in front of my face.

Task for tomorrow: mindful shopping at Whole Foods and preparing my food for the week.

Older Than I Wanna Be

So, I'm back after a brief hiatus. I was out of pocket due to kidney stone issues and then it took me a while to get back in the groove.

Tonight I took a long questionnaire on Dr. Oz's free RealAge - Live Life to the Youngest website. The questionnaire was very thorough and after I received my body's "real age", I also got a goal plan of the things I needed to improve to get my age down.

What was my Real Age?

OK, so it's not horrible, but still... I don't want my body to be 45 yet!  I would have been much older if I smoked or drank, or had cancer in my immediate family, or hated vegetables. Thank goodness for broccoli! But it's apparent even without the test that I suck at diet and exercise.

Why don't you take the test? I dare you!

Down and Out

Been down and out the last couple of days. Still not feeling 100% but I hope to wake up refreshed and energized tomorrow. Cross your fingers.

I do feel proud about the fact that I watched The Biggest Loser tonight for the first time without stuffing my face. Yay! Although, that's partially due to the fact that my stomach doesn't want food right now.

Tomorrow should be a good day to weigh!

Fire Drills

My exercise this weekend was a multitude of fire drills. No, that's not some fancy technique. The fire alarms kept going off at various times over the last two days. The first time, I evacuated myself and the cats and got all sweaty from that even though it was in the 20's outside.  The other times just involved me up and down the stairs trying to figure out what was going on. I also walked around Wal-mart this morning. Does that count?

Good news is that I lost another half a pound, so that's 2 total since January 1. And the Wii actually said "great!" when I stepped on instead of "ooohhh!" this time. :)

Imagine what I can do when I actually get my butt in the workout mode. I did buy some healthy food today and snacks so I'm hoping to get even more dilligent with my food this week.

Bagel Fridays

I had a plain bagel this morning. Fridays are free bagel days at work. I couldn't resist because I was running late and didn't eat my bran cereal for breakfast. Then I went to lunch at a Vietnamese restaurant with 11 other people for my old boss's last day at the company. I ate relatively well there, but forgot about my no dessert policy and got a small slice of cake... or two. For dinner, I stopped at my favorite little Jewish deli for breakfast. I love scrambled eggs and pancakes at night. Just two eggs and half of 2 small pancakes (so really just 1).

Basically, I sucked today.

Need to work off the carbs tomorrow.

Wii, Wii, Wii... All the Way Home

So, the Wii and I had a meeting this morning and it told me I had lost 1.5 pounds since my last weigh-in on January 1. I like the Wii balance board today even though it still did that stupid "ooohhhh" when I stepped on. I can't figure out what makes it sometimes do that foreboding "ooohhhh" like I'm hurting it versus the sometimes, "Great!" :)

Haven't gotten my butt out to exercise yet, but I did some very important work on the mental part in therapy. Gradually, I'm starting to remember that I'm worth self-respect and love. It feels empowering.

For dinner, I stopped by Boston Market and got a chicken breast, red potatoes, and squash casserole and I made sure to tell them not to put any cornbread in there because I knew I would eat it. Oh, and I took the skin off the chicken!! Wooo!   Still no sodas, juices, or sweet tea.

One small step for normal people... one giant leap for Jennifer.

Take Care of You

I made it a point to leave work at 5 today so I could get home and have time to eat dinner, relax, and exercise. Well, I ate a healthy meal at my favorite local deli and had water instead of their famous sweet tea. I was proud of that. I made it home by 6:20 and I sat around expecting a phone call that I somehow knew wouldn't come anyway. I should have just gone to exercise and taken care of myself instead of worrying about being by the phone in this limited window of time. Nobody to blame but me.

I've been sitting here watching Armageddon Week on The History Channel. It's not all doomsday, but there is so much scientific information corroborating ancient predictions from all over the world that no matter what you believe, it's hard to not think that some global horror is on its way in the near future. Heck, I read news somewhere the other day about Russia trying to find a way to keep an asteroid from hitting the Earth. Whether the future is bright or dim, my point is that life is short. I need to take care of me and enjoy the life I have and the time with the people I care about.  Fully enjoying this life means getting my ass in gear and getting a chunk of this weight off so that everything is more enjoyable.

A friend suggested after my blog last night that I at least do 10 crunches before going to bed to get in a habit of doing SOMETHING. I thought that was a good suggestion and I went a step further and also did 10 quality squats (perfect form). By number 10 of each, I was thinking I wasn't going to make it. And I could feel the muscles twitching.

Even though I failed my goal of exercising again today, I did eat well and I will do my squats and crunches again before heading off to bed. And... I will resolve to make tomorrow better.

Goodnight all.

The Big O' Loser

Well, I worked late again tonight and the only exercise I did was watching The Biggest Loser after eating my lasagna roll-up from Whole Foods. It actually was very healthy as it was 75% spinach... lots and lots of chopped spinach mixed with some cheese and rolled in a big lasagna noodle, topped with a tiny bit of marinara.

I have a post-it easle like you see in an office sitting on my island bar in the kitchen. It says, "What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud?" from The Biggest Loser theme song.  I didn't exercise, but I did make myself proud with my food choices today and yesterday. I haven't had any sodas or refined sugars.

I could still go exercise, but it's late and I know from the last time I did that, I wouldn't get to sleep in a reasonable time. So, I'm going to opt for going to bed early tonight and getting up early in the morning to get my bike ride in.

My Bologna Has a First Name

Well, it was a very long day returning to normal routine after the holidays. I didn't make it with my exercise, so that means I will have to exercise every day through Sunday to meet my goal of 6 times per week. I was planning on taking Sundays off. Maybe it will have to be Mondays instead. I hate Mondays anyway.

I did however go to the tanning bed and acted like I was a sexy bitch on the beach in the hot sun. That was funny... but I'm sure only to me... in my head.

The Brutal Truth

You know for a certainty it's time to do something about your weight when:

1. You need a seatbelt extender for the first time on an airplane.
2. You struggle to wipe or wash your own ass. Disgusting!
3. You have troubles turning over on the massage table.
4. You can't fully close the tanning bed.

It's not that I haven't known for quite a while that my weight was reaching critical mass. But somehow, I have had a total sense of apathy about it and have been struggling to find the motivation to get me back on track.

I still don't really have the motivation, but I'm going to fake it until I make it. In the meantime, I'm going to face the horror of posting for anyone who wants to see... the brutal truth about my weight, my goals, my struggle. I really am quite horrified, but hoping that the embarrassment of exposure will spur me on somehow.

2010 started with the Wii yet again reminding me of my obesity. But isn't my fat little Mii kinda cute?

I've decided I am going to start with a reasonable goal... 40 minutes of exercise 6 days a week, alternating types. Keeping my calories per day under 1600. Taking my vitamins, especially D every day. I think I'm going to break my weight loss goals up into 40 pound increments. So, here's to losing 40 pounds!

Now, the question is... do I start with the bike or Jillian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum on the Wii?

Beginning the Dig

It's my intention with this blog to explore, uncover, discover, experiment, share, and hold myself accountable to doing the steps necessary in order to get to the best version of myself. Seems almost like an archeological dig, hence the name of the blog. Mostly this means getting control of my weight, my health, my peace of mind, and becoming an outward manifestation of everything I can be.

Essential Steps to a better me (subject to change):

• Clear the cobwebs in my brain that prevent me from believing in the person I can be. Somehow everyone else sees the potential but me.
• Determine the best exercise regimen for me and actually be consistent with it. I presume this will take a lot of trial and error.... blood, sweat, tears.
• Discover the right way of eating to maximize my health and lose a substantial amount of weight without making me want to drown myself in a pool of chocolate fudge and call it quits.
• Find a way to bring peace to mind on a daily basis and make each day count.

Here we go...